{"product_id":"resting-dad","title":"Resting dad","description":"\u003ch1\u003e💀 \u003cstrong\u003ePRODUCT DESCRIPTION — “I’M NOT SLEEPING, I’M RESTING MY EYES.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h1\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMeet the shirt for anyone who’s \u003cstrong\u003eone inconvenience away from a nap\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eone nap away from being a menace again\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis tee features a skull in a sleep mask because yes — even your inner demon needs eight hours, a snack, and a break from everyone’s nonsense. It’s the perfect uniform for people who aren’t actually asleep… they’re just aggressively avoiding eye contact, responsibility, and whatever conversation someone is trying to drag them into.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoft. Comfortable. Zero apologies.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWear it when:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou’re awake in body but spiritually offline\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSomeone says “you look tired” and you need a legal way to respond\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou want to broadcast “I’m done” without actually saying it out loud\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou’re practicing the ancient art of \u003cstrong\u003ehorizontal problem‑solving\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis shirt is for the chronically exhausted, the selectively social, and the people who can fall asleep anywhere except at a reasonable bedtime.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDelightfully Toxic energy: cozy, chaotic, and just a little unapproachable.\u003c\/strong\u003e Because you’re not sleeping — you’re simply refusing to participate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct: Gildan G500 Adult 5.3 oz. T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e5.3 oz.,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e100% preshrunk cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAntique (Cherry Red, Jade Dome, Irish Green, Sapphire, Orange) and Sport Grey are 90% cotton, 10% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eSunset, Safety Pink, Russet, Neon (Green, Blue), Midnight, Lilac, Blackberry, Tweed, Safety Green, S. Orange, Dark Heather, Graphite Heather, and Heather (Military Green, Radiant Orchid, Red, Sapphire) are 50% cotton, 50% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eAsh Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade with sustainably and fairly grown USA cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeamless rib at neck\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eTaped shoulder-to-shoulder\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eDouble-needle stitching throughout\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eNon-topstitched, classic width, rib collar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eTear away label\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eSafety Green is compliant with ANSI \/ ISEA 107 high-visibility standards\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eQuarter-turned to eliminate center crease\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e7\/8\" collar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003eClassic fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ctable id=\"sizechart\" style=\"width:100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eBody length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eBody width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSleeve length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003e28\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003e18\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003e7.5\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003e29\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003e20\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px; 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